It was a typical day at school, simply trying to survive it. I just sat there, thinking about the homework I missed the day before and the homework soon to come. My brain is seemingly weary and exhausted for little reason, and I just want to drop dead while writing all of this. I try to think of this as a soon-to-be blog, and, even possibly a form of a journal to which I may be more motivated to continuously work on, unlike my actual journal. And I seem to be writing about almost anything that comes to mind – dozing out of this world and into my own. Sometimes I really can't tell the difference between reality and dreams. Most of yesterday was one big blur.

Apparently, I blacked-out during most of yesterday, though, I do vaguely remember waking up, sweaty, after a bad dream, right around 4:00 or 4:30 P.M. Yes, I was probably asleep until as late as 4:30 P.M. And again, I find myself dozing – fading into the "other world," as I now name it – a place of dreams and perils – how romantic. Why do I keep on daydreaming?

I started reading a book called The Gospel According to Larry. It is interesting – having some refreshing, dry humour – encouraging me to write what I am writing right now. Right now, I would much rather be on my computer than being at school, I would rather be typing this than writing this with a pencil.* The only class I need right now is English. Even then, I just want to stop…



After most of the day had already passed, I finally woke up – after time that passed and some coffee to which actually calms me – and began to read "the book," again. I've begun to notice just how much of a conservative hippie. I hardly show it at all. And as I finished my coffee (which probably cost $3.00 for eight ounces,) I felt like a snobby, gluttonous hypocrite. Is this what I am destined to be – a gluttonous hypocrite?

And the luxuries we enjoy? Selfish much? I went to bowling with my step-father. What do the poor families in the Philippines, or Indonesia, or any other third-world nation do for fun? Perhaps nothing at all. Do they life (if really possible,) sleep, work, and eat – nothing more? Many people take their little (or big) luxuries for granted. Are we really that selfish and cruel?

I attempt to write something that is worth something (at least) nearly every day and feel I have failed miserably. Do I make people think? Do I use efficient enough words? Do I say the right things? And most importantly: Do I make people think and/or take action about what I say? I just ask if I can make a single difference. Sometimes I feel I make no difference at all and that I am being rather worthless, or simply meaningless in the world. Of course, I fell I need to stop and think what change I, myself, have made. Have I changed? Should I change before I try to make chance?
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*I eventually typed this up, obviously...